I hate Eurovision, but I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber even more

I don't know about you, but I bloody hate the Eurovision song contest. But I still watch it. I know, I know - I knock everything about trash TV and reality and all that celebrity rubbish that people seem to lap up like hungry dogs in this country, but Eurovision - well, I tend to watch it.

So what the bloody hell is Andrew Lloyd Bloody Webber doing? He's going to compose next year's entry? So bloody what! And the cheek of the weird-looking freak to think that he can ponce around on TV with his own Prime-Ministerial announcement to say that he's looking for someone to sing it. Oh hang on, is this another reality show?

You got it, folks. Kevin Spacey wasn't wrong when he said that those Joseph and Maria programmes were nothing but promotion for Lloyd Webber's own musicals and that they were distracting from other shows being put on without the extravagant Saturday night promotion. The poor guy even had to apologise for making these comments. But Lloyd Webber's back on our screens in his stupid chair, "playing it up" (which is BBC speak for he's acting like a dick, which is what he is, but we're all going to laugh at it and so is he, on the outside).

I've never liked the po-faced little shit and I won't hide it. As you can no doubt see. I once had to sit through Phantom of the Opera, one of the most turgid three hours I have ever spent, and I still regret the fact that I will never get those hours back. He is responsible for that. He is responsible for those awful shows with my own football club's chairman dicking around on a Saturday night instead of running the football club which is what he should be doing. He is responsible for a nation believing that they have a chance of performing in a West End stage show while the truth is he made his decision at the start. Or is that too controversial? The idiot.

Anyway, the only upside to this is that Paddy Power are offering odds on the whole Eurovision shindig, which we'll probably lose anyway, even though they're reverting back to a jury system (well, half jury - half telephone voting) in an attempt to block every Eastern European country from voting from Russia. Actually, the only reason they do that is because they think that by voting for the Russian singer, they won't get invaded. Didn't do Georgia much bloody good, did it? Ukraine, good luck... It'll take more than a blonde tart in a miniskirt to stop the Russkies.

I digress. Here are the odds:

Eurovision 2009

    9/1    The UK to win the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest

  40/1    The UK to finish last in next year’s Eurovision

100/1    The UK to receive nil points from every voting country in next year’s Eurovision

    3/1    The UK song choice to reach No.1 on the UK singles charts in 2009

published: 20th October 2008 by Free Bet Bookmaker

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